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Mother coaching

When you have a child, it not only changes how you see the world, but often also your view of your own patterns and issues. Often what has always been going on is magnified, and you suddenly feel that you want to do something with it. You can't ignore it anymore, but you also don't really know where to start. And then you come to me. 

If you want it differently

When I was pregnant with our first child, I was surprised at how much clarity it provided. Suddenly I made choices that were no longer just about me, but about our child. And suddenly I was able to let go of the fact that I had a role to play as 'best colleague' 'most loyal friend' 'cutest daughter' 'easiest client'. So I suddenly canceled appointments when it felt better, stopped investing in friendships that weren't nourishing me, and asked difficult questions of my healthcare providers. I 'demanded' care and attention from people around me and expressed their needs, wishes and intentions out loud. And the great thing was that everyone around me was doing really well. My relationship became (even) better, my friendships became more intimate, I healed old wounds with my parents, and I thought I was a nicer person. And I had a dream birth. 

The more I talked about this, the more I realized how wrong it is that women (men too, but especially women) find it difficult to take up their space. For generations, women have been molded from an early age to become the perfect (house)wife, to not ask questions, to be subservient, not to upset anyone, to obey. And during my pregnancy I suddenly started to feel how much I internalized that had. And as soon as I started feeling it, it came into my consciousness and I could therefore make choices that were different than before. I started taking up much more space and following my own course. And the more I did that, the more clearly I felt what I find important in life. And I wish that for all women. 

As a coach that is what I do. I bring women into contact with their deepest knowledge. I help you feel what is beneath the surface. And I will help you put words to this. Some women come to me a number of times to explore themes in depth about taking up space, entering into confrontations, making contact with theirintuition etc. Some women come mainly to find the right words for what they feel. Finding the right one. words can be very important if you want to involve someone in your process. For example, to be able to discuss pain points with your partner, but also to be able to have conversations with your healthcare provider. Many sessions I do are about the intersection between what is 'expected' of you and what you feel is right for you. And this often includes the healthcare system. In general, there is little room for a holistic approach in the Dutch healthcare system. We have organized the care in such a way that it offers as much safety as possible for the 'average' woman. Just who is an 'average' woman? And how do you define safety? If your entire inner knowledge screams that you should give birth by caesarean section because it is best for you and your child, but the guidelines say that you should first try it 'yourself' at home, is that okay? Or if you feel very clearly that you want to give birth at home because you are cramping in the hospital, but you had a caesarean section last time so the protocol says that you have to give birth in the hospital.llen, what do you do then? 

Unfortunately, there is not enough time and money in maternity care to listen to everyone. To have an attentive conversation about 'who are YOU?'. So I do. Together we investigate where the guidelines serve you and where they are detrimental. Thanks to my years of experience as a midwife, I can explain to you in detail why the guidelines are as they are. I will explain to you why your healthcare provider has a certain preference, what therisks are, and what your alternatives might be. I will investigate together with you (and possibly your partner) what is important to you. My goal is that at the end of our conversation you will be able to make a well-considered choice and have the words to communicate this clearly with your healthcare provider. 

You are very welcome to contact us for a program of a number of sessions, or a one-off conversation. We always start with an introduction. And if you want to know more about me or my work, take a look at media.  

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