A pregnancy often brings with it a very strange internal contradiction. On the one hand, you are the only one who experiences what is going on in your stomach. You are the one who has to indicate how things are going, how the baby is feeling, whether what you are experiencing is 'normal', etc. On the other hand, there is a whole team around you of experts who have studied for it. And in the ideal situation, the two (you as an expert by experience and the care provider as a studied side-kick) complement each other perfectly. But sometimes not. And that can have various causes. 

 

For some women it is difficult to feel what is going on in their body. Sometimes fears, beliefs or intentions cloud your own feelings and intuition. Then it is very difficult to make decisions about things such as where you would like to give birth. Or whether or not you want to have certain tests performed. Or to assess whether the baby is moving enough. 

 

On the other hand, it may also be the case that you have a very good sense of what you would like or what is going on. But your healthcare provider thinks differently. And that can cause friction or misunderstanding. And that is not beneficial for your relationship, but also not for the 'outcome' of your pregnancy and delivery. We know that a good relationship with the care provider is a very important element in looking back on the birth, for example. 

 

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

 

As a (former) midwife and mother of two children, I know both sides very well. I have been both the well-meaning healthcare provider and the (stubborn) wise pregnant woman. And I know how nice it is to spar with someone who knows their stuff. a place where you can dump all your worries, beliefs, frustrations, wishes, and desires. And to whom you can ask any questions about why your healthcare provider does not want to go along with your wishes. Or what the reasoning is behind certain protocols. And together we explore the space. We ensure that you have the words to clearly express your wishes. And we ensure that you also understand what you are choosing from a medical point of view. We ensure that you can make a choice that is both sensible and right for you. And we ensure that we offer your healthcare provider all the tools to understand you and support you as best as possible. 

 

Because in my experience, when women feel, act and speak completely from their autonomy, there is rarely anyone who contradicts them. So we take those three steps in a pregnancy coaching conversation or process. We will make it clear what you feel, we will clarify what needs to be done and what action is preferable, and we will find the words that are correct for what needs to be said.